Why do women want to be diagnosed?
Thoughts on why so many women and girls seem eager to be diagnosed with a mental illness
I was reading The Feminine Mystique when I thought:
Of course women and girls clamor for diagnoses — they want to be validated. They long for personhood, like anyone — to be recognized and valued. Not valued as they are, because they’ve been taught they have no inherent identity, but as patriarchal culture defines them. Females are taught from birth that we do not exist until we are acknowledged; so we understandably hunger for acknowledgment. If a woman falls under patriarchy and no one hears her, does she make a sound? No.
We long for our suffering to be acknowledged — a name for our sadness and rage. And a solution! What must I do to not feel upset by my oppression? This is a real question I hear in my work and have read in online support groups for women. They, of course, don’t say oppression, they say “How can I not feel upset when..” and they go on to describe being ignored by loved ones, being exploited at work, experiencing sexual trauma, being dismissed by doctors, hating their bodies, etc.
It kills me that we are made to feel this way but also strengthens my resolve to help women to see there’s nothing wrong with them for feeling upset by poor treatment. I don’t know if I help all the women I work with to see their full personhood, but I’ve been told more than once I’ve helped women to realize they’re not crazy and that their thoughts and feelings are real and important which, for me, is a step in the right direction.